Jeff Goldblum selling knots and rolling his R’s in ‘Portlandia.’ Yes, I’d rather watch this for an hour than the news.
Mini-review of ‘The Love Witch’
I like odd films and this month, ‘The Love Witch’ is available on Amazon Prime. It’s a tribute to kitsch horror films of the sixties. The user reviews on IMDB are split. Some people loved it while others hated it; very few were neutral. Frankly, I have no desire to watch it again, but I’m not annoyed that I watched it once.
The film is beautifully shot and duplicates the technicolor look associated with sixties horror films. Too bad the script lacks a sense of humor. If it did, I missed the jokes. The film might have worked better if it had a few intentional laughs aka dark humor. The writer/producer/director (all one person) implied that ‘Love Witch’ carried a feminist theme, but the delivery was too intense for me. I don’t watch this genre for its social meaning.
I wasn’t thrilled with the dark depiction of witches either, having known several (male and female) who were focused on light, love and the healing arts. The writer studied the craft for the film, but her takeaway was more 1660’s, less 1960’s. Definitely not the third millennium. The film could have focused on a strong female character like the cheated-upon wife. I won’t spoil it, but Trish could fight.
Sigh, I just didn’t get this film, and I wanted to. You may like it or not. Be warned, it’s not a date film, there is frontal nudity, and the ending is ‘meh.’ But if you have Prime, it’s ‘free.’
Love Hurts in your Dreams
The old folks in our church called me a ‘true American.’ I didn’t have the heart to tell them I was a Canadian.
On Sunday morning in front of the entire congregation, the preacher declared the lone man standing in the back of the church, an ‘abomination.’ I knew right there, and then I would marry that man.
“You should date someone respectable,” said my aunt Claire.
“Like you,” I replied.
“I’m dull, dear,” she said. “That’s not the same as being respectable.”
The wrinkles on her face faded as she gave me a mischievous smile. I looked down at my feet to avoid interrogation, but she dug around in her crammed carryall bag instead. Aunt Claire handed me a foil packet, and I gasped.
“If you have a condom in your purse, then it’s a date. You don’t have to use it, of course, but if the shoe fits, he’ll wear it.”
I thanked her and shoved it into my apron pocket as my mother stepped onto the porch. For years, I wanted to ask Aunt Claire how she knew but she passed on my tenth wedding anniversary.
A message from the author: I like to write about odd moments (true and false), and this is my lab. Thanks for reading. Best regards, Madeline.
Inspirational Curios: Hedge Maze
Shunning a proposal, Orlando (Tilda Swinton) runs through a hedge maze and into the future in Sally Potter’s Orlando (1993) based on the book by Virginia Woolf. Throwing herself down onto the Earth, Orlando declares that she is Nature’s bride. A gallant Shelmerdine (Billy Zane) appears from the mist on horseback and is thrown to the ground in front of Orlando. She proposes but falls in love instead.
Livin’ la Vida Virgo
What if I had used my astrological chart like a user’s manual to guide my life? But being a Virgo disappoints me. The tagline should read, “The dullest sign on the planet excluding Capricorn.” What if I had lived my life like the anal retentive person I was born to be? What if I had embraced being organized, analytical, and practical? Or being logical, and always right? Or being helpful with sincerity instead of sarcasm? Could I have done it without dying of boredom?
I went to a Vedic astrologer for answers. He informed me that I was actually a Leo. He said I was born at the tail end of the sign. In other words, I am the back end of a cat. Well, I’d rather be boring than a cat’s ass.
Quotes on wooden boxes.
made by M. Jones for RedVelvetJones, circa 2000.
Photo on Foter.com
Off to work we go.
Red Velvet Jones 