What if I had used my astrological chart like a user’s manual to guide my life? But being a Virgo disappoints me. The tagline should read, “The dullest sign on the planet excluding Capricorn.” What if I had lived my life like the anal retentive person I was born to be? What if I had embraced being organized, analytical, and practical? Or being logical, and always right? Or being helpful with sincerity instead of sarcasm? Could I have done it without dying of boredom?

I went to a Vedic astrologer for answers. He informed me that I was actually a Leo. He said I was born at the tail end of the sign. In other words, I am the back end of a cat.  Well, I’d rather be boring than a cat’s ass.